For the habitats of the planet that shall not be named here, taxonomy was never an issue. The overpopulated, overpolluted, overexhausted planet lacked many things: clean water, clean air, clean living conditions, and… most animals. Everything that took up too much space was extinct: no large trees or animals. Humans had no respect for anything that could be bigger than them and, for that reason, threatening.

The contest for the name’s popularity and thus the number of animals with it in their names was handedly won by the pigs. There were domestic pigs, feral pigs. And there were animals with their names associated with a pig or a hog. Guinea Pig, Bushpig, Micropig, Water Hog, Mudhog, Groundhog, Warthog, Hedgehog, Porky; even sheep were called Hog. Then there are porcupines, porpoises, and aardvarks (Earth Pig). Food items: pork chops, pig ears. Artificial skin? (pigskin, of course!) Clothes: porkpie, a hat. Industry: pig iron. Machinery and transportation: Humber Pig, Warthog. Hogging was good for survival in unhealthy competition! Drones and delivery vehicles called hogs would deliver goods, meds, drugs, food, services, prostitutes, ordinary people, and politicians (often called pigs or swine!) in that descending order of the moral scale and significance to the lives of most inhabitants. Well, it’s all pig, in the end!

It must be noted that Pops did not read books; most people on the planet didn’t anyway. He learned basic reading in school but wasn’t really into it. Why bother when one can do without? So when Pops saw this book on top of the bin, he would not even slow down to take a look if it was not for the shimmering bright red cover.

A creature resembling a floating raft that lived in the lakes over the hill was named… a Water Horse, of course. And a big, fat, long, furry creature with long, twisted horns that roamed the high pastures was named… Ah, no, not a Horny Fat Horse—just a Fat Horse!

If there were large, natural, aggressive rivals or predators on this planet, perhaps they’d choose flight over fight. But it surely looked like the hogs were the top bullies around here. So, they started running, first slowly a bit off the course, slightly to their left. Suddenly, they changed their vector. A large, dark brown, scary boar with huge fangs and many small horns sticking out of its ugly head was leading the attack.

Finally, the roar that had been boiling deep inside Pops burst out. Pops roared with the roar of a victor! He drummed his chest! A clear message was sent to the rest of the pig-band about who was the boss here. Pigs scattered away. Pops was now the King of the Hill. De jure and de facto!